Only a Farm Kid...can come up with this response! have a good laugh……

Add caption

 

 

When you're from the country, your perception is a little bit different. 
A Queensland farmer drove to a neighbours' farmhouse in his Holden ute, and knocked at the door.
A boy, about 9, opened the door
"Is your Dad or your mum home?" said the farmer.
"No, they went to town." 
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
  "No, he went with Mum and Dad."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other,and mumbling to himself.
"I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter Susie pregnant".
The boy thought for a moment...
"You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the pig, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."


Hope you had a laugh…by coincidentally this image was on a trip driving down from Townsville to Mackay….cannot remember which part it was?


Why don't you join the lovely  person behind FlogyoBlog by pressing the button below 

Sign up for our free newsletter!

Old age at its best……

What we get up to when we get older……

Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

One day Russ didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something.. But after Russ hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Russ lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ, but one day, Sam approached the park and-- lo and behold!--there sat Russ! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, 'For crying out loud Russ, what in the world happened to you?

'Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.'

'Jail!' cried Sam. What in the world for?'

'Well,' Russ said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?'

'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her?

'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I plead 'guilty'.

The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.

Stages of life in your ride on adventure……

 

Which stage of life are you at….? I had to share this…..

Have an awesome week

What we get up to when we get older?

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement centre were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:
Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.’
Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.
An elderly gentleman....
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect.. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure..'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast ?'
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'


A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
Garage Door
The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'
He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini van with two flat tires..

Hope you all have a pleasant week ahead!
Marthese……

Ghost in a Hospital

Apparently this is a true Story!   Oh my God….

This case happened in a General Hospital's Intensive care ward where patients always died in the same bed and on all Sunday mornings at 11 a.m, regardless of their medical
condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM .
So a hospital-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning, a few minutes
before 11 a.m. all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil, even Pirith chanting had
begun........Then the clock struck 11...and then......then.....then.........




Mahinda, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward, unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner...............

Who’s the Boss

Who’s the Boss 

This is how sales ARE to be done...  read the below story...  A keen immigrant Indian Marwadi lad applied for a salesman's job at London 's premier downtown department store. In fact, it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there. The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?" "Yes sir, I was a salesman in India ", replied the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you." The day was long and arduous for the young man, but he got through it. And finally 6:00 PM came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?" "Sir, Just ONE sale." said the young salesman "Only one sale?" blurted the boss. "No! No! You see here, most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. If you want to keep this job, you'd better be doing better than just one sale. By the way How much was the sale worth?" "93300534.00 pounds" said the young Marwadi. "What, How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss. "Well", said the salesman, "This man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sell him new fishing rod and some fishing gear. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. So I told him he'd need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty-foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to our automotive department and sold him that new Deluxe 4X4 Blazer. I then asked him where he'll be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to camping department and sold him one of those new igloo 6-sleeper camper tents. Then the guy said, while we're at it, I should throw in about $100 worth of groceries and two cases of beer." The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook!" "No" answered the salesman, "he came in to buy a box of Sanitary napkins for his wife and I said to him, 'Sir, Your weekends are screwed anyway, you might as well go fishing.'" Boss - "You sit in my chair........"

A nun's tale

Three Italian nuns die 

and go to heaven        

At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St Peter. He says, "Sisters, you all
led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go
back to earth and be anyone you wish to be..

The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren," and *poof* she's gone.

The second says, "I want to be Madonna" and *poof* she's gone.

The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini."

St Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he asks.

"Sara Pipalini," replies the nun.

St Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't
ring a bell."

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St Peter.

St Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and
says "No sister, the paper says it was the ' Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by
1,400 men in 6 months."




This is something I decided to start as of today ~~ A Special Corner  ~~ where you can come  over  and enjoy  a laugh over a cup of coffee ~~ come over and check weekly...I will be adding a post every week...feel free to share with your friends and family and put a smile on someone's face !